Hopeful May

by thethoeles

I think we’re doing okay? 

I really can’t tell you for certain that we’re okay or we’ll be okay.  I feel like I just can’t know that.  I continue to tell everyone that we’re doing better and we’re “getting there”.  Every time those words escape my mouth I cringe a little.  I’m trusting that we will be okay and that Meg and I will have a happy life but it’s a daily effort that I don’t always win. 

We’re often struck with the reality that those closest too us don’t know what we’re going through.  I struggle with this as I don’t think anyone can exactly know what you’re going through.  I know that they are feeling an entirely different pain and grief for Sullivan.  I don’t want anyone to know this pain.  Just as I don’t ever want to know what it’s like to lose a close friend or parent.  I do however want to know what it’s like to be content with this life. 

We’re getting there.